January 2012
36 posts
1 tag
Here's a guy ...
laurenashleybishop:
jamesadomian:
Todd Glass: “It’s time that bullies stop bullying and we bully them.”
WTF with Marc Maron - Episode 245 - Todd Glass
This is a watershed moment for comedy. We love you, Todd!
todd glass is an american hero.
I’m listening to this right now. I love it. I love Todd, he’s my favorite comedian.
1 tag
TTTTTTTTTT
I made the woooooorst first impression on my new manager. First, I forgot to turn on my alarm, like I set it to the right time but never turned it on and I woke up when my shift started. Luckily, my assist. manager and supervisor saved me and told her I’m never late (which is true btw). Then this customer complained about me because I wouldn’t return this thing for him but at the same...
lucas921 asked: Holy shit...I'm pretty sure I love you. I know this because I stayed up until 4:52am to read every word on your tumblr and got 4 raging mega-huge boners and 1 semi-hard one from laughing during the process. Thats love right?
Twitter Show
I was recently asked by someone to perform at some twitter stand up show. All I have to do is either read my tweets or tell a twitter related story that’s 3-5 minutes long. You guys have any suggestions as to what tweets I should read or know of a story I should talk about? Thanks!
larisasays asked: My life is pretty terrible right now, too. Big hugs for one of the funniest people on Twitter! That's not a question, is it? Wait, does that question make this a question? Fuck it.
guys I don’t think you get it, I have a shitty relationship with my mom. I can’t just go up and hug her, I can’t. We only hug on holidays/birthday celebrations. I already saw her and we both acted normal like nothing happened. I’m going to write her a letter though. I’m not going to ignore it completely. My sister on the other hand wants to talk to her and wants an...
fuuuuuuuuck fuck fuck
My dad just gave me a letter from my mom and in it she basically talked about how she is dealing with something that has happened in her past right now and apologized for being a bad mother and never being close with me.
Fuuuuuck dude.
What’s my excuse for being a shit kid?
I don’t even know what to say to her when she comes home.
1 tag
oldetime asked: How many tweet/nominations do I need to do before I can have a taste of that *delicious* pizza? 5? 5,000,000? Name your demands.
angelicacarol asked: You're awesome! How many times a day do people tell you how freakin' awesome you are? I bet like, a bunch. Thanks for following. You're tweets are hilarious and you, ARE AWESOME.
2 tags
People of Tumblr!
I think it would super neat if you go here: http://shortyawards.com/nitTWITStv and nominate nitTWITStv for best web show! I am not even being a little bit biased cause I wrote two of the episodes I’m asking you to do this because I think their videos are hilarious and everyone involved is great. I’ll throw you guys a pizza party if they win ok?
THANKS PLEASE REBLOG THIS OR SOMETHING
TTTTTTTTTTTTT
I worked 40 hours last week and I’m doing it again this week. I’m so tired. soooooo tired. Every time I tell someone I’m working 40 hours they have zero reaction. Then I explain to them how much that is and they always tell me, “tracy that’s what normal people work.”
First: RUDE! But despite being true I work a shitty retail job. SHITTY. I am on my feet for all...
My only friend who told me I should get help for my depression doesn’t talk to me anymore and doesn’t want to be my friend. How completely fucked is that?
December 2011
62 posts
2 tags
Helllloooo
new followers hi
glad you’re here. thank you for being here. you are all so good looking and stuff. I was going to write some dum post about me since I assume most of you don’t who I am but decided against that and thought the more reasonable thing to do would be to shove two links down your throats.
I wrote these two sketches and it would mean tons to me if you watched and possibly...
markleggett asked: What race are you? I think maybe you are an Eskimo. Do you condition your hair? Sometimes I think maybe conditioner is just bullshit but I still use it anyway. Ever seen a dead body? I did once, he was all blue. I don't think he was a blue guy to begin with, I think the drowning did that to him. It was freaky. I wanted to touch him with my finger but I didn't want to ruin the funeral....
kassidywaddell asked: WHERE DO YOU WORK?
1 tag
Husband in Family Christmas Card Thinking of...
damienfahey:
landinggearup asked: Can I ride your fart joke filled coat tails to fame and success?
