ifc:
The Audition from Mr. Show
If I ever audition for anything I’m doing this.
The perfect sketch.
“Perfect sketch” is exactly correct.
Legally required by the bylaws of the Alternative Comedy Act of 1998 to reblog the “perfect sketch” when it shows up on my Dashboard.
This is my favorite mr. show sketch ever
asked one of the greats for some advice for my first show/second time ever performing stand up. (this is me bragging sorry) (also I’m pretty sure she meant throw not through)
oh and I’m performing stand up on sunday at some bar three towns over. I’m nervous and excited at the same time. I wasn’t that into it at first and I wasn’t even going to talk about it on here until afterwards but I had fun working on it the other night and like she said, I have nothing to lose.
Boots was never really my cat, she was always my sisters.
When we moved we had another cat that got lost because she didn’t know the area. My mom and sister drove by Ralphs and saw that some guy was giving away kittens and my mom let my sister pick one out.
We had other cats while we had Boots. First there was Kip. The most lovable orange cat that has ever existed. Kip got really fat, really fast. While this was happening Boots got really skinny, really fast. We realized Kip was eating her food and had to feed them separately. Kip was never fixed, usually when cats are fixed they stick close to home. One day when it was super windy and rainy I called out Kip and no answer. We figured (or at least hoped) some family took him in and he didn’t pass away. Then there was my cat who I named Laser Wolf. (I KNOW RIGHT BEST NAME EVER) I adopted him from the shelter and before you can take them home they send them to the vet. LW stayed in my room since he was so tiny and recently fixed and I didn’t want Boots to attack him. I started to notice how he hardly ever made a noise when he meowed, like he would open his mouth but no noise. I was getting worried and before we could get him checked out he passed away. A friend of ours told us he must have been to little to have the surgery and would have passed away even if we did take him. I was devastated.
My sister got married last year and since she was moving out the apartments she would be living in allowed pets but it would cost extra. Since my sister is the cheapest person alive she left Boots behind. I remember my parents asking me if I would be taking care of her and before they could finish the question I said yes. As much as she never was my cat I could never let them give her away. The first few days my sister moved out Boots slept in her room for hours. I think she was waiting for her to come home. Sometimes I would go in the room and sleep with her.
Boots and I became very close over the past 11 months. She would follow me around the house. Every time I came home, no matter what time of day, she would run up to my car and meow by my door and we’d walk inside together. She liked going under the covers and sleeping on anything with a hard surface. She loved going across the street. (I later learned the neighbors had a cat and I guess they were friends). She never liked to be held, she always would try and squirm out. She would kill bugs and mice and try and bring them in the house.
On friday someone kept ringing the doorbell. I was the only one home but if I’m not expecting a package or someone coming over I never answer it. I was getting ready for my shift to start and at the same time trying to find Boots to feed her before I leave cause I wouldn’t be home again for hours. Earlier in the week I noticed she wasn’t eating that much. I checked her usual spots and couldn’t find her. When I was leaving I opened the door and saw a note. In it it said that they were our neighbor across the street and to give them a call. My heart sank. I knew it had to be about Boots. I grabbed the note and put it on the fridge. When I got to work I sent my dad a text letting him know and for him to text me as soon as he finds out what it’s about. We have a new manager at work so I couldn’t check my phone as easily as before. As I was walking out to my car I saw a text from my dad saying she died.
Boots was the only thing I looked forward to when I would come home and now she’s gone.
hahahahaha is that louis (@LouisPeitzman) that they cropped out? why would you crop out the best looking person?
My girlfriend is a moooovvvie star. Matilda was on ABC Family this weekend and I was able to snap off this gem of her as Hortensia looking inquisitively down the hallway.
tee hee it’s wee me ! don’t worry u guys i’ll never bring that haircut back.
Look! It’s Kira! Look! How cute!
Because I signed into klout a couple of times and some people (thank you if you did) gave me klout points or whatever I got this dvd for freeeeeeeee. Isn’t that so dum?
Todd Glass: “It’s time that bullies stop bullying and we bully them.”
WTF with Marc Maron - Episode 245 - Todd Glass
This is a watershed moment for comedy. We love you, Todd!
todd glass is an american hero.
I’m listening to this right now. I love it. I love Todd, he’s my favorite comedian.
